What is suffering? And why does it need to have a place in my life. Is it real? Does suffering actually exist outside of my thoughts? If suffering actually existed, wouldn't every person going through the same situation experience the same suffering?
My deepest love relationship just ended. I should be devastated. Others would be! Another may be heartbroken, lost, depressed, have a script of thoughts like:
"I'm so unlovable, I shouldn't have done this or that, I'm not good enough, why does it have to end, I just want to die, there's no reason to live anymore, I hate feeling like this".
Then the thoughts might evolve to:
"I never should have gotten into the relationship, I never wanted to be hurt, I'm never going to be vulnerable again".
Then more thoughts:
"He's so cruel, how could he lead me on like that, he accused me, he hurt me, I miss him, I'll do anything to get him back".
But these are all just thoughts - not based on truth. I am lovable, I do exactly as I should do every moment, I am good enough, I want to live, I love feeling every way - it proves I'm still alive, I enjoyed the relationship no matter how long it lasted, I'm willing to be hurt again to experience deep love with another, I won't settle for anything less then vulnerable, He is so kind, he is so honest, he can't hurt me - only I can allow hurt to myself, I miss him.. yes and that's ok, I won't do anything to get him back that would jeopardize my honesty and truth.
So how is it that I can be free from suffering, I can be at peace, I can be full of love, hope. I can see every moment of this relationship as precious gifts that I opened with care. The gift of learning about myself, learning about another person, learning how to be honest, learning not to hide behind fear, experiencing a deeper relationship with my dad, unwrapping more of the secrets in my life, learning about love, seeing beauty in everyday, taking rest when I need it, taking fresh air when I need it, taking a glass of wine when I want it.
Can I have peace instead of suffering because I believe my thoughts that tell me that God is ultimately in control and His next step for me is even more like paradise than the chapter I just completed? How exciting!!! If this love relationship was a glimpse of paradise, lets keep the flow going. Keep it coming God, keep my stressful and limiting thoughts and expectations out of the way so that I can fully be in Your path.
My deepest love relationship just ended. I should be devastated. Others would be! Another may be heartbroken, lost, depressed, have a script of thoughts like:
"I'm so unlovable, I shouldn't have done this or that, I'm not good enough, why does it have to end, I just want to die, there's no reason to live anymore, I hate feeling like this".
Then the thoughts might evolve to:
"I never should have gotten into the relationship, I never wanted to be hurt, I'm never going to be vulnerable again".
Then more thoughts:
"He's so cruel, how could he lead me on like that, he accused me, he hurt me, I miss him, I'll do anything to get him back".
But these are all just thoughts - not based on truth. I am lovable, I do exactly as I should do every moment, I am good enough, I want to live, I love feeling every way - it proves I'm still alive, I enjoyed the relationship no matter how long it lasted, I'm willing to be hurt again to experience deep love with another, I won't settle for anything less then vulnerable, He is so kind, he is so honest, he can't hurt me - only I can allow hurt to myself, I miss him.. yes and that's ok, I won't do anything to get him back that would jeopardize my honesty and truth.
So how is it that I can be free from suffering, I can be at peace, I can be full of love, hope. I can see every moment of this relationship as precious gifts that I opened with care. The gift of learning about myself, learning about another person, learning how to be honest, learning not to hide behind fear, experiencing a deeper relationship with my dad, unwrapping more of the secrets in my life, learning about love, seeing beauty in everyday, taking rest when I need it, taking fresh air when I need it, taking a glass of wine when I want it.
Can I have peace instead of suffering because I believe my thoughts that tell me that God is ultimately in control and His next step for me is even more like paradise than the chapter I just completed? How exciting!!! If this love relationship was a glimpse of paradise, lets keep the flow going. Keep it coming God, keep my stressful and limiting thoughts and expectations out of the way so that I can fully be in Your path.
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