It's not my job to figure out the next step.
I only know what I need to know in the moment.
As soon as I begin to fret about the next moment, I'm not in my business anymore - I've decided to become master of the universe and try to control the next moment without even a glimpse into all the possible variables.
More musings about thoughts. I think a lot about thoughts, spending time thinking about thoughts.. hmmm interesting.
So, what if my thoughts are God's way of directly speaking to me. His direct line of communication to my mind or heart - depending on where the thoughts resonate. Well maybe the God thoughts resonate in the heart and the human thoughts resonate in the mind. The human thoughts in the mind bring us stress, worry, anxiety day in and day out. Funny thing though - many devout Christians are stressed with worry, and I'm no exception. Why is that? Shouldn't we be different than the rest of the human race?
Ok - for an experiment, I'll monitor where my thoughts come from. Actually - I've already been doing this. When I get the thought to go here or there, do this or that - if I just do it then I'm following the lead and I'm rarely stressed. I'm simply living in the moment, doing what I've been asked to do that exact moment, and not borrowing trouble from tomorrow. If I begin to think that costs money, how am I going to make that work, it sounds silly or crazy, I'm too tired, I'm not smart enough, I'm not brave enough, my house is too messy, my kids are too noisy, people will look at me funny, on and on and on and on and on and on. Then I wonder why God didn't help me with the stress! Why didn't he make it clearer to me what I should do? Well maybe he actually did - but I thought my way out of it.
What if suffering only existed in my thoughts. What if I could be an observer - seeing things as they really are but not being filled with stress about them.
If I changed by beliefs about my thoughts - would the suffering and stress go away?
Isn't that Jesus's real message?
- Don't worry, I'll take care of everything
- I have everything under control
- Trust in me
- Get your ego out of the way
- Follow my lead, I know what's best for you
We’re upside down, inside out – can’t tell our cars from our kids. Which one is more valuable? Our jobs, money, goals, stuff – even the church can’t decide. Commercialism and pop culture are woven deeply into the fabric of our pews. But we’re ok with it, so that’s fine. But just be aware that that is not what Jesus modeled for us. Pop culture is driven my media and ultimately government. Being ‘In’ the world but not ‘Of’ the world, what does that really mean? Does it mean we can look like the world so that we can capture lost souls through a veil of deceit? Boy oh boy – you’d think God was putting up his feet handing out the dough to all his mobsters to do his dirty work. When the church uses pop culture to seduce its non/members it is mirroring the identical behavior of the world. Sure it’s all in the name of God – but seriously, do we need to take our lessons from worldly hierarchy? One single gift I would like to pass onto my children – think for yourself, no matter what the church says! When your thoughts mesh with God – then you will know what is right for you.
So all this said – it is only my thoughts that lead me to believe what I will support and what I won’t support. You are completely entitled to what you think is right.
The more I explore the more I cannot believe the ‘truth’ that was taught to me that there is One Way. How can there be when all the churches can’t agree on which way that is. Which church did God give the memo too to let them know they have the Right Way? Every single belief system can prove that their way is the right, only and true way – otherwise, why would they believe it?
All it takes is a single question – a question of authority, of religion, of faith, of belief, of wonder, curiosity, inquiry to allow God to speak into the depths of my being so that His words are my words, His thoughts are my thoughts, His plans are my plans. Is there a separation of Him and me? If He truly resides within my being, how can you separate us - are we not One? Will He not speak His truth into my being; maybe that truth will not look like yours – are you ok with that?
So the whole concept about the way I think – how it has morphed over the past years to such an extreme change that I hardly recognize who I used to be. Did I really think that way? Did I really love struggle so much that I held onto it for dear life? My mind is a clear vessel these days. Observing beauty in everyday life – and wondering how I missed it all these years. Moving forward through life wanting to explore and experience everything possible. Not dismissing opportunities for fear of what people will think or is it the ‘right’ thing to do, or maybe there’s something better. But the thing is – all my current way of thinking was not ever introduced to me by the church or christians. The experiences I have now I feel the need to closet them for ‘fear’ of being labeled blaspheme, back sliding, causing another the stumble, and so many more christianeze.
So maybe it’s time I escaped from my closet – let you know what I really think. You don’t have to agree actually I’d prefer you didn’t always. If you feel led to pray for my dying soul – so be it. But in all honesty, peace prevails in my life right now.
