I had my first experience getting high on weed.
What a trip - a journey through different experiences - 6 to be exact. As I moved through each experience, I found a few moments of coherency and could clearly put thoughts together, until I felt the slipping into the next experience. Physically my fingertips and my tongue tingled.
The first experience began shortly after the final pull. Time expanded to the capacity that I could feel the space between the seconds. There was a equal moment of feeling me touching him, feel the hammock, feel the blanket and an equal moment of feeling the space between our touch, between the hammock and between the blanket. In that moment, there was nothing touching me, just a vast empty space surrounding me completely. I could feel the moment between my words and thoughts. The vastness of that extra second contained so much more thoughts that my mind could comprehend. And the working through of those thoughts was quick and seamless. All I could say was "There's so much to say". I moved back and forth through coherent thought. For every moment of reality, there was a pull towards unreality. For my voice there was also another, each opposing each other. One fought for control of being, the other propelled spontaneity, laughter, any thought, any idea, any topic, didn't matter if it was proper, it was about freedom. The control being fought hard. When I felt the urge to laugh - the control being allowed a small sputtering laugh, but quickly brought it back under control. "What would it look like, what would people think if they could see my complete freedom, if I could laugh at nothing. No, you must remain under control, fight for it."
The second experience was the essence of touch. I could completely feel him, his every touch. His hands were huge, his movements smooth. I was completely absorbed in that moment.
The third experience was of silly giddiness. Everything was funny - if only the control being would let it be. It was a continual tug of war between the desire for abandoned humor and the control of emotion.
The fourth - passion. The words to describe are hard to come by. Hard to put a 4 dimensional experience onto a 2 dimensional paper.
The fifth experience pulled me back to age 5. I could see, feel, hear, smell every sensation from that time. I had some things to work through. I had some images to re-capture, to set free, to accept, to forgive. And it all came. An understanding that I've never had before as to the thoughts and experiences of that time. I've never before been able to go back there with such clarity, such wording and identifying how I feel, what I am doing, why I am doing it. I could describe in detail and put words to an experience that was very prominent in my childhood. I cried, and it felt so good.
And Six... a journey into the heart of God through the story of Noah. Don't ask me why Noah?? I have no clue. But I was left with frustration and confusion over why a God so powerful, loving and accepting could kill his own people - his own creation. Is there a conspiracy? Is there a line to pull? Is there something being hidden throughout history that could potential destroy the authorities that have the current power? If I don't pull the line, if I don't believe the stories - what happens? Is the hell/heaven scene merely a smoke screen for something more powerful available to us?
And then rest - it finally came.
What a trip - a journey through different experiences - 6 to be exact. As I moved through each experience, I found a few moments of coherency and could clearly put thoughts together, until I felt the slipping into the next experience. Physically my fingertips and my tongue tingled.
The first experience began shortly after the final pull. Time expanded to the capacity that I could feel the space between the seconds. There was a equal moment of feeling me touching him, feel the hammock, feel the blanket and an equal moment of feeling the space between our touch, between the hammock and between the blanket. In that moment, there was nothing touching me, just a vast empty space surrounding me completely. I could feel the moment between my words and thoughts. The vastness of that extra second contained so much more thoughts that my mind could comprehend. And the working through of those thoughts was quick and seamless. All I could say was "There's so much to say". I moved back and forth through coherent thought. For every moment of reality, there was a pull towards unreality. For my voice there was also another, each opposing each other. One fought for control of being, the other propelled spontaneity, laughter, any thought, any idea, any topic, didn't matter if it was proper, it was about freedom. The control being fought hard. When I felt the urge to laugh - the control being allowed a small sputtering laugh, but quickly brought it back under control. "What would it look like, what would people think if they could see my complete freedom, if I could laugh at nothing. No, you must remain under control, fight for it."
The second experience was the essence of touch. I could completely feel him, his every touch. His hands were huge, his movements smooth. I was completely absorbed in that moment.
The third experience was of silly giddiness. Everything was funny - if only the control being would let it be. It was a continual tug of war between the desire for abandoned humor and the control of emotion.
The fourth - passion. The words to describe are hard to come by. Hard to put a 4 dimensional experience onto a 2 dimensional paper.
The fifth experience pulled me back to age 5. I could see, feel, hear, smell every sensation from that time. I had some things to work through. I had some images to re-capture, to set free, to accept, to forgive. And it all came. An understanding that I've never had before as to the thoughts and experiences of that time. I've never before been able to go back there with such clarity, such wording and identifying how I feel, what I am doing, why I am doing it. I could describe in detail and put words to an experience that was very prominent in my childhood. I cried, and it felt so good.
And Six... a journey into the heart of God through the story of Noah. Don't ask me why Noah?? I have no clue. But I was left with frustration and confusion over why a God so powerful, loving and accepting could kill his own people - his own creation. Is there a conspiracy? Is there a line to pull? Is there something being hidden throughout history that could potential destroy the authorities that have the current power? If I don't pull the line, if I don't believe the stories - what happens? Is the hell/heaven scene merely a smoke screen for something more powerful available to us?
And then rest - it finally came.
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